Signs of despondency

I want to have the last laugh

After the mystery I have been through
That is the past I won’t delve back into
He who laughs last laughs best it’s said
Theirs maybe a mockery of sorts
Jest and banter their opine
Creating obstacles of regression 

Forlorn and dejected my spirit may be
The urge to prosper having diminished
Having been battered and left famished
In a state of despondency and hopelessness
My whining is my way of easing the heavy burden
My plight is undeserved since I have tried
Albeit all doors of fortune have been tightly sealed

The situation is ominous and portent in a way
Almost leading me to sink into abyss
Ambition sere as I am devoid of optimism
The valves and sphincters of promise locked tight
Immobile gears have prevented my propulsion
Making me accustomed to the rues of life
I see a lagoon ahead with no atoll in sight
There, lies emerald, sapphire and mercury
Which I clearly see but can’t go take

My thought process is distorted and bleak
Indeed there is nothing to smile about
Burdensome loads of frustration written all me
In my gait, posture, body language and voice
Its now obscure and transcendence looks quixotic
Comfort means no intent in making any progress
Abate I will these instincts of pessimism and vile
Creating a photogenic clarity of endeavor
 Starting humble is always a key in life
Being cautious not to plunge after the struggle

Ditto I may soon be smiling with alacrity of victors